Our Christmas Party Camp Spot

So, you all want know. How did we get on?

A quick recap. Our trip was a quick dash to the hills to celebrate the Outdoors Station Christmas Party which, being Bob and I, had to be held in the form of a wild camp.

The central challenge of our trip was to see whether we could cook a traditional three course Christmas dinner out in the field. No dehydrated food or short cuts but as close as we could get to the real experience.

Bob picked me up at Malvern Train Station, slung my pack in the boot of the car and then we were off, a quick dash to Brecon and the Crickhowell horseshoe. We parked the car and then all kinds of wonderful stuff came out of the boot and into the packs, tupperware containers, camping plates and cups, platypus’ full of wine and a mound of titanium cookware We found our camp at the side of a stream that cut down from the mountain tops, through forest and rusty coloured fields that were bathed in a lovely soft, winter, light.

I suppose we should have expected it, but we had fixed our party for one of the windiest nights of the year. We didn’t quite have the storms of Scotland but it was pretty bad. Putting up the tarp tents was something of a challenge and getting them to stay in place an even bigger one. Fortunately we were pitching next to a broken down dry stone wall and its larger stones soon found themselves weighing down or guy lines and tent pegs.  The tent finally stable, and gear stashed securely inside, it was time to drop round to the neighbours for dinner.

Inside Chez Cartwright I found the man himself surrounded by all kinds of packs and gadgets. Two gas canister stoves had been hammered into the ground and three titanium pans, pot cosies and a titanium frying pan were carefully placed around the chef.

The gaff was kitted out for a party. Various coloured glow sticks were suspended from the internal ties of the tent. A little gadget from Lidl was plugged into a tiny iPod. This was not only a small speaker but featured three disco lights that flashed on and off in time with the Christmas selection that Bob had carefully assembled. We cracked open two Christmas Crackers, put the paper hats on top of our woolly hats and happily read out the dreadful jokes.

We started with mince pies washed down by a slug of Rose’s fine home-made sloe gin. Next two mini Christma puddings were placed in a titanium kettle suspended by a trivet made of windshield aluminium. The puddings were bought to the boil and then stored in their pot cozy.  Then it was time put on the spuds. The last of the home grown new potatoes were ought to the boil for a minute or two and then placed in a second pot cozy to continue to cook.

We opened with a tomato and basil soup which is one of those new soups that come as a paste in a tube. The taste was quite familiar, not unlike many of the tomato and basil soups that I have had in pubs and service stations the length of the land. It was the kind of soup that — our mate Humphrey — would have described as being of Break Brothers menu 2. But it tasted OK and was topped up by a finally chopped garnish of fresh parsley.

Soup consumed it was time to put on the other vegetables. A third, and wider pot, had been been adapted with more windshield foil to provide three containers. In one was a collection of diced carrot and swede. The other two featured broccoli (or calabrese to be culinary correct) and sprouts — test this was to be a traditional as possible. The vegetable were bought to the boil and placed in their own pot cozy. A smell of sprouts filled the tent!

It was the time to crack out the wine and a fine merlot flowed from the platy container.

Then it was time for the main event. Bob took two pieces of finally sliced Turkey bought at the butchers in Malvern and then gently fried the pieces on the frying pan. Towards the end of cooking time two discs of traditional stuffing were added to the pan. While the turkey was sizzling a ready made mix of gravy was made up with some of the cooking water from the vegetable pan, a tiny cooking whisk ensuring that there were no lumps.

Soon all was ready and we were tucking into sizeable portions of turkey with three veg and potatoes, washed down with yet more of the delicious red. The cooking had been something of an achievement, not least because the gale force gusts of winds had us rushing to ensure the sides of the tent didn’t break free and overturn the stoves.

The result? Well, it was a fine meal. The turkey was delicious and quite moist. The spuds had cooked properly in the cozy and had just the right amount of fitness to them. Similarly, the vegetables were done to a perfect al dente state. I can honestly say that this meal was better than the majority of pub Christmas dinners that I have had over the years. And, of course, there was no miserable hits getting pissed in the corner.

The Christmas puddings were also well cooked and topped out with home made brandy butter. Then it was after eight mints, alcoholic chocolates and sugar coated almonds washed down with a good single malt.

And that wasn’t the end of it. After an exceptionally cold and windy night it was back round to Bob’s for freshly cooked — and tossed — pancakes!

A fine little jaunt in the country. And of course you will be able to hear it complete on a forthcoming podcast!

Cartwright mixing pancake batter!